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It's been said that no one ever outperforms their own self image. Unless the task we're trying to achieve is in tune with who we feel we are, we'll fail. And we'll keep on failing until our image of self grows to include the task we're aiming for. Only then will we succeed. As long as the task lies outside our self's territory, it'll remain unreachable.
But the solution to this is simple—change who you think you are. Most people, however, can't figure out how to do that... because that solution also lies outside their self.
Now, some folks have flexible self images that are easily expanded. So when they tackle something new, they meet very little resistance from within themselves.
They don't self-sabotage, they don't make lousy choices, they don't go halfway and then quit. They simply go from here to there, without having to battle through a bunch of self-defeating behavior. People like this, however, are in the minority.
Most of us struggle with self-sabotage every day. It's like some part of our inner self seems bent on defeating us. It not only SEEMS that way, it IS that way.
No matter how longingly we imagine ourselves soaring to the skies, no matter how wide we spread our wings to catch the wind, when it comes time to lift off, we discover our wings are weak or broken. They fold and fail to sustain our flight. But of course, there's a reason for this pattern, and a solution.
When I first came to Japan, twenty years ago, I'd never amounted to much. I'd had lots of interesting and exciting experiences, but never earned significant money. Never been viewed as a "professional" by anyone. I was easy-to-get-along-with, knew how to do lots of different things, was well-read in many different fields, and enjoyed talking with people. But I had my level, and I never rose above that level... never really tried.
Then I got to Japan, and without actually intending to, I began hanging out with people who thought differently about themselves.
And one day, after several months in this strange new place, I woke up and realized I was now earning a very comfortable living while working ridiculously few hours. Major Japanese multinationals were calling me and asking for business advice on matters that would usually be turned over to mid-level executives.
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