The Nettle Magazine : Issue 41 Give Away Rights Ebook

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The Next Internet Millionaire: Episodes 6-10

The last five episodes have continued the recent trend of making the contestants look, for the most part, like complete buffoons.

To make matters worse, the two most (in my opinion) intelligent contestants have been eliminated.

I know that this may be partly down to some wicked editing, but still, it’s not hard to envisage Joel crying himself to sleep at night as he contemplates what kind of disastrous JV is going to come out of this.

Of course, when you’re rich enough to be able to dry your eyes with crisp onehundred dollar bills, it can’t be all bad.

Last month I predicted that in Episode 6 Laura would survive elimination once again. I was correct, but only because there were no eliminations in this episode (the results of the challenge being carried over to Episode 7).

Nico won immunity (again) by making more money selling popsicles than everyone else. The backdrop for this challenge was some kind of ‘fun run’ but, unfortunately, the organisers hadn’t been warned in advance that ‘The Next Internet Millionaire’ would be filming in their vicinity.

More than one of the contestants were asked to leave the area for unsolicited selling. Oops!

It also didn’t help that the popsicles were nasty looking things that noone in their right mind would buy. Still, Nico, who looked right at home selling things out of a box, had no problem making a chunk of cash and earning the right to advertise Hacker Safe.

After a lecture from Brad Fallon (Who Laura thinks is ‘hot’. Seriously, Laura should have her own show), the main challenge was revealed to be an EBAY contest.

After scouring a succession of garage sales, the teams had to choose some items to sell on EBAY, with the winner being whoever made the most money.

Pending the results of the 24-hour EBAY sale, Joel took the contestants on a night out drinking. Naturally, Laura insisted that this was the event she was best qualified for and set out to prove it.

Cue shots of Laura doing shots off the bar, followed by shots of Laura drinking, followed by shots of Laura talking about drinking, followed by more shots of Laura drinking, and finally Laura trying to play darts.

If Joel had set the challenge of drinking and engaging in clichéd drunken behaviour, Laura would have won hands down (although some of the other contestants put in a strong effort).

Sadly for Laura, there was nothing to win here and she would finally head out of the contest in…

Episode 7

Some may think my insistence that the contestants are not the most internet-savvy people in the world is harsh, but even I was surprised that BOTH teams managed to make a loss on their EBAY listing.

Joel called it a ‘debacle’ which was probably, in part, influenced by the fact that one of the teams managed to spell Coca-Cola incorrectly in the listing title.

Oh dear!

Laura took the fall for this one, probably not because she performed worse than anyone else, but she had become such a fixture in the elimination room that one of the chairs had her name laminated into it.

Well done Joel for having the ‘steel’ to do it. The show will be less interesting in her absence, but it was the right decision.

With the elimination out of the way, Joel announced to the contestants that for this episode only, EVERYONE was going to be immune from elimination.

I pondered on the reason for this twist until I was presented with the image of the contestants donning their ‘Hacker Safe’ T-shirts en masse.

Things became increasingly abstract as the contestants went for a walk, had a pep-talk from PepperJam CEO, Kristopher Jones (who helped the team view their bowel movements in a whole different light), played a series of ill thought-out ‘team’ games and finally kidnapped and tortured Nico’s pet monkey.

This last scene was incredibly amusing and the episode is worth watching for this part alone.

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