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Chapter 1: Why Finding Your Purpose Changes Everything

So, why is it that finding your purpose can change everything? How does this help you to truly come alive? Why is this the key to success?

Have you ever heard someone tell you that they find passion to be a turn on? Many women say that they love seeing men who speak passionately about a subject, or busy at work doing whatever it is that they do. Why do you think that rock stars get so many groupies? It’s not just about the fame: if you go to a rock concert with a relative unknown they will still almost always have their pick of several women to go home with that night! The simple fact is that they’re doing what they love, they’re demonstrating skill and passion on stage and to the adulation of countless others. That’s a turn on! Women reading this: ask yourself when your guy is at his sexiest. Is it when he’s talking about something he finds absolutely fascinating? Or when he’s hard at work programming, or working out at the gym?

And the same works for men. Men might be a little less emotionally switched on sometimes and they may be unaware of just what it is they find attractive in their partners. But one thing that is always a turn on is seeing a woman who is passionate and driven. It exudes confidence. Think of that sexy violinist all in black, who is taken away by the music and who has the crowd eating out of her hand. Or an incredible dancer.

In fact, finding passion can actually be a trick for brining more romance and excitement back into your relationship. The sexist thing is the other. The unknown. It is seeing someone who is highly motivated and driven, who is passionate about what they do. When you spend all day on the couch with someone, the magic goes. You become too close. It’s hard to want what you already have.

Get some distance. All each other to grow. Explore your own individual passions and hobbies and let them do the same. And you’ll suddenly find that you both become more interesting to one another again. And for those of you who are single? Stop focussing outward by trying to impress people. Start focussing on yourself and what you love, and you’ll become endless more magnetic.

But that’s just a little bonus incentive. There’s far more to it than that.

Tapping Into Creative Flow

We don’t just become sexually more attractive when we’re focussing on our passion: we become more attractive in the visceral most basic way. Attractive in the sense that people want to be around us, to listen to us, to follow us. We become leaders, inspirers, beacons.

The reason is that we enter what is known as a flow state. A flow state occurs when you are focussed on something 100%. When you are so engaged with whatever you are doing, that all other distractions fall aside. More importantly, the part of your brain associated with your sense of self and with your self regulation shuts down. This is the dorsal-lateral prefrontal cortex.

This removes the parts of our brain that usually holds us back and that prevents us from being 100% in the moment. In other words, we are no longer worrying about our finances or about what other people think. Instead, we are highly focussed and 100% of our mental and energy resources are directed toward that event. And what happens when you direct 100% of your resources toward one activity? Well, it should come as no shock to hear that you become better at that one activity!

In sports, flow states can cause time to almost seem to slow down and dilate, giving us more time to react to things that are happening around us. When we’re writing an essay or painting a masterpiece, we see increased activity in the medial prefrontal cortex, giving us better focus on what’s happening inside our own mind and almost seeming to shut out the rest of the world.

These are different kinds of flow states but they both represent the same thing: being highly focussed and highly engaged with whatever it is that you’re doing and therefore performing your best.

And this is actually a highly exhilarating experience. Many people describe it as almost euphoric and enlightening: they feel so switched on and so alive because they’re forgetting all of their worries and all of their concerns for that brief amount of time: it’s almost as if they are in a meditative state. They love the thing they’re doing so much that nothing else seems to matter, at least for a time.

And from a neurochemical standpoint, this makes sense too: the brain floods itself with not only focus neurotransmitters (similar to hormones) but also endorphins to make us feel good.

And this is also the state you need to be in if you want to be highly successful. Because countless studies show us that great things happen when you’re in flow. It has been suggested that the vast majority of world records have been broken by people who were in flow states at the time. And it has also been suggested that all the most successful start-ups are in flow too.

Getting to Flow

Getting to this point is all about being highly engaged with what you’re doing and it’s all about loving that thing. Because flow is triggered by the salience network. This is the part of the brain (the anterior cingulate cortex and other connected areas) which tells us what’s important and what we should be focussed on. It does this via the release of dopamine – the ‘reward hormone’ – which our brains produce in anticipation of reward.

In other words, dopamine tells us that something is important and that it requires our attention. This directs the salience network – the attention network – toward the relevant brain areas. That in turn ensures that we remain focussed on those things and allows our sense of ‘self’ to fade away.

Flow states can occur when we’re in danger. This is why we often enjoy split-second reflexes when we’re snowboarding down the side of a mountain at break-neck speed. When this happens our brain comes alive and says ‘I REALLY need to pay attention to this’.

But when you LOVE what you do, the same thing happens. When you love what you do, the brain says ‘I REALLY need to pay attention’. This time it’s because you’re so engaged with that task and so enraptured by it, that nothing else seems to share the same importance.

Magnetism and Passion

Others can sense this passion and this focus and it sends powerful signals that you are someone highly capable, highly exciting to be around and highly engaging. Have you ever noticed how some people seem to be highly charismatic? Have you ever met someone who you just instantly wanted to like you? Someone who just won you over and was highly persuasive and interesting?

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Introduction

Self-discipline is, without a doubt, one of the most important life skills everyone, and I mean everyone, should have. There are, of course, plenty of other essential life skills everyone should master such as people skills, time and money management skills, survival skills, professional skills, communication skills, and more.

Read the last sentence again. Do you know what all these other skills have in common?

If you answered self-discipline, you’re absolutely correct! You need to have the discipline to effectively master many different life skills. Skills that are important for your success at work, at school, at home, or anywhere else for that matter. Now, achieving self-discipline is not easy. Don’t trust anyone who tells you that. To achieve self-discipline you need to have the ability to control your emotions, your body and your mind. It’s the ability to rise beyond your weaknesses and be strong enough to resist temptations that may come your way (and you will have plenty of those, trust me). If you think doing that is easy, then you’re probably superhuman or maybe even a robot!

We may not share the same weaknesses but as humans, we all have weaknesses. It could be something material or immaterial, it could be tangible or non-tangible, it can even be a living thing like other human beings or animals. Every time you see these objects, these weaknesses, your resolve weakens and you lose your selfcontrol. In some cases, maybe even your self-respect.

Overcoming your weaknesses is necessary for you to be successful at disciplining yourself. Why? You simply don’t have a choice. Temptations and obstacles will litter your path to success and it’s important you avoid these at all cost! If you fail, if you give in to your weaknesses, then you’re also going to fail big time on self-discipline.

If you’ve always wanted to achieve or excel at something, such as in sports, academics, arts, music, and more, you need to have the self-discipline to go after what you want, to chase after your dreams. You don’t just sit around and wait for something to happen. Because nothing will happen. You have to put in the work, most probably over a long period of time, so you can achieve whatever it is you’re aiming for.

By the time you finish reading the last chapter in this eBook, you’ll know everything there is to know about self-discipline and how you can use it to build your mental strength to resist temptation so you can finally reach your goals.

Chapter 1 - What Is Your “Why”?

It’s very easy to say you’re going to accomplish something, anything, in the next 12 months. You can say you’re going to be 20 pounds lighter or you’ll be living in Europe after a year or you can even say you’re going to find the love of your life soon and tie the knot in the next 12 months!

You can do a lot of things, be in a lot of places and meet loads of new people in under a year. You have an infinite number of possible goals you can choose to achieve.

Your chosen goal could be in response to a dare from your friends or maybe a personal challenge you want to take on. No matter the reason behind your sudden desire to succeed at something new, you need one very important skill to achieve that goal.

Can you guess what that skill is? It’s self-discipline, of course. Committing to a long-term goal is the beginning of your selfdiscipline journey. Once you’ve done a mental handshake with yourself or signed on an imaginary dotted line confirming your commitment to a specific goal, then your self-discipline should kick into high gear.

You need to lock yourself in and buckle up so you don’t get left behind in the marathon to reach your goal. You need the stamina and the strength to surpass and overcome all obstacles in order to meet your goal.

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Introduction

There comes a time in every person’s life when they stop to wonder, “Am I doing enough?”

Sure, working a regular 9 to 5 job and spending your time working your way up in your career can be satisfying, but are sometimes the process of paying the bills can become tiresome and tedious, and you may find yourself wondering if you’ve lost sight of what is really important.

All of us have great talents and inspirations that drive us forward in life, but if we aren’t taking steps every day to help us to achieve our goals, our passion for life begins to dwindle. It can be defeating to spend our lives working toward essentially nothing, stuck in the same monotonous routine while the things we really want to do with our lives are stuck on the back burner.

That’s no way to live, and many of us begin to feel stuck and confined as we wonder about the things that might have been, were we offered better opportunities, or had been able to make more time to work on the things that we find the most important to us.

Well there is no reason to wonder “what if?” any longer. Using this book as a guide, you will begin to see that it is not only possible, but essential, to master your destiny. Every one of us has a special purpose on this planet, and a singular life that belongs to us and us alone. Each of us has a duty to honor the purpose that we were meant to serve, and we are allowed to continue to create the changes that need made in order to make those dreams a reality.

What most of us are lacking is the basic structure to get to where we want to be. Accomplishing our goals may seem obscure and idealistic, but there are steps that we can take every single day to get to where we want to be. It has never been more possible to become the best version of yourself you can possibly be, and by following the simple key steps in this book, before you know it you will be well on your way to KNOW THYSELF!

Let’s get started.

Chapter 1: Know Thyself

The advice may seem tired, but the fact of the matter is that knowing yourself is a tried and true way of KNOW THYSELF. A person who doesn’t know themselves, inside and out, will not be capable of growing and changing in the ways that will help them to evolve as a person, because that person will likely be a slave to their vices without even knowing it!

Most of us have a hard time admitting our flaws and faults, even to ourselves. That gives them free reign over our lives, and a season pass to sabotage anything that we are working on. It is a sneaky way for us to get in our own ways without really being able to see the problem for what it is; an act of self-sabotage!

The most effective strategy in combating self-sabotage is to get to know yourself inside and out. This may seem simple, but it is probably going to be a lot more complex than you might think. It’s more than just sitting down and listing the things you think you know about yourself, which is a good start. This is a time-intensive process that you will need to do with the help of friends and family whom you can trust to tell you the truth, whether it hurts your feelings or not.

But before we involve anyone else in the process of getting to know yourself, first you have to figure out just what it is that you already have covered. One thing that may really help you is to take the Meyers-Briggs Personality test. Upon taking this test, you will find yourself placed in one of sixteen categories, and these categories each have a detailed profile that can help you understand more about yourself and the way you respond to certain situations and stimuli. This can also be useful in learning more about how you conduct yourself in relationships and as a part of a peer group, without having to rely on the feedback of your trusted friends and family.