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Introduction:
There comes a time in every person’s life when they tried to make a change, and for some reason or another, that change is not successful. This can be profoundly discouraging, and even send us on a downward spiral. We are not prepared for the setbacks in childhood. We are generally given the to do things right, and often times, we impression that in order to have value, we have think we have to do things right the first time.
What we don’t always take into consideration is the fact that a very common, and unfortunate, part of being human is failing. Whether we think we have everything figured out or not, the unforeseen obstacles that seem to insert themselves in our paths can sometimes take us by surprise.
Sometimes, the setbacks that we face seem insurmountable. We might begin to believe that we failed for a reason, and that there is no possible way that we could ever be the people that we want to be. We stop having confidence in ourselves, and begin to believe in the worst case scenario a lot more readily than we believe in the possibility of success.
This can be dangerous for many reasons, and over the course of time, if we continue to feed ourselves the belief that we will never overcome our challenges and we are on a fast track to failure at all times, it can slowly begin to disintegrate our sense of self-worth. When we do not believe in ourselves, that can make it nearly impossible to function productively in our lives. Especially when that means that we stop believing that we are even capable of productivity in the first place.
Fortunately, there is a way for us to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and to reclaim that lost motivation. It can be extremely difficult to get back on our feet after it seems like everything we were working for has been lost. But the only true variety of failure comes from not actually trying in the first place. If you give up for good, only then will you really have something to worry about.
Humans are extremely hardy. We can bounce back from even the most difficult situations. If you feel like you have experienced a major difficulty, and you are having a hard time getting your footing, this book will prove to be a valuable guide. It will help you to remember that you are made of strong materials, emotionally and mentally, and in that way, you will be able to succeed.
It is possible for all of us to rise from the ashes, no matter how difficult the situations we find ourselves in may seem at the time. Sure, it is defeating to face failure, but the truth of the matter is that we can always learn to see negative situations in a positive light.
Without that sort of flexibility, it can be difficult for us to achieve things in life that we want to achieve, and it can make it especially hard for us to move on when we find that we are not making the progress that we think we should make.
Whether you are suffering from an emotional or material setbacks, it is possible for you to get back on your feet and thrive. This book will show you how. All you have to do is believe in yourself, and remember that it is truly possible. Let’s begin!
Chapter 1: Processing and Accepting Your Challenge
This may seem simple, but the first step to overcoming your failure and Phoenix Rising is to accept the fact that you were not able to achieve the goal in the matter that you were hoping. Whatever it is that
you did not succeed at, that is in the past. It does no good to over-fixate on your failures, especially when they are related to feelings of inadequacy and desolation. Those feelings can be very consuming, especially when you were very invested in the project that didn’t work out.
Acceptance can be a very difficult thing to master, especially if you are in the habit of being very hard on yourself. Unfortunately, most of us are, and this can prove to be detrimental to our emotional, and sometimes mental, health. That is why it is so important to come to terms with the event that is getting you down in the first place.
Whether this is a failed project or the result of a difficult phase of life, it is time to examine what happened to you and try to find an objective point of view about it. Do not make the mistake of believing that your failure defines you. On the contrary, the only thing that defines you is the way you handle yourself in the face of adversity. That is when we find out what we are really made of.
Unfortunately, many of us are programmed from an early age to believe that if something is hard or doesn’t come easy to us, or if we fail at something, then we are just not good at it. Perseverance is something that is usually not taught in most schools or households, except by example. And those examples can be sadly rare. Do not blame yourself for feeling crushed under the weight of your challenge. This is a natural reaction to have. It is far worse to punish yourself for failing and put yourself through the ringer for being affected by that failure. Instead of punishing yourself, allow yourself to feel the things that you were not fully letting yourself feel. Try to understand that grief is a common feeling when you have lost something, and don’t be afraid or feel silly for expressing those feelings.
Consider the event that has discouraged you from all angles. Try to journal about the way it has made you feel. If you need to, you could even consider speaking to a qualified professional who can help you to sort out the difficult feelings related to this event. This can be especially helpful if you have experienced some variety of trauma. Sometimes, traumatic events can make it that much more difficult to succeed, so working through them can be a great way to equip yourself with the tools and fortitude that can sometimes need to be developed in order to succeed.