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We now know what self-confidence is, why we don't have it, and the obstacles in the way of achieving it. So, what steps exactly can we take to become powerful, self-confident, and self-fulfilled with joyful lives we are proud of?
Behavioral Self-Confidence
First, you need to believe in your own general competence, your ability to take action when needed. This is behavioral competence. For instance, if you want to start your own business, you have to believe that you will take the actions to achieve this goal. You will develop a business plan, learn whatever you need to learn to run the business, and accomplish all the practical tasks involved in setting up a company.
Second, you need to believe in your ability to follow through. Many people are good at coming up with ideas and even taking some steps toward the goal, but stop before the goal has been reached. They become overwhelmed or are too disorganized and unfocused.
Third, you need to believe in your ability to overcome obstacles. Some people move forward with a plan until they encounter problems. Where is your tolerance level for obstacles? Do you run as far and fast as you can to avoid them, or do you realize that this was to be expected and get to work on them?
Fourth, you need to believe in your ability to ask for help. Do you stubbornly insist on going it alone, or are you reasonable enough to ask for help when necessary? Responsibly asking for help is a sign of self-love and intelligence.
If you have problems with procrastination or stagnation, making a detailed outline of the steps you want to take (what they are and when you will take them) can keep you on track. Finding models that are doing well at what you want to do could be of great value to you. Finally, making a list of people you can go to for help will strengthen your belief that you can and will go forward with your goals. This belief, in turn, will strengthen your behavioral self-confidence. The more you take action, the more your behavioral self-confidence will grow.
